Ways to Manage Stress

Adapted from an article by LifeHack.org

It is impossible to live life with zero stress. In fact, some stress is good and helps us develop. It is also true that we function better if we manage the stress in our lives and reduce it where it is having a negative effect.

Signs of stress

If you are stressed, you may:

• feel overwhelmed

• have racing thoughts or difficulty concentrating

• be irritable

• feel constantly worried, anxious or scared

• feel a lack of self-confidence

• have trouble sleeping or feel tired all the time

• avoid things or people you are having problems with

• be eating more or less than usual

• drink or smoke more than usual

How do we manage stress?

If it was as simple as 'stop doing that' there wouldn't be so many articles, products and suggestions about it. It's not easy and it takes time. These are two things that many people will not accept, but I know that my clients are different. They want to change, they need to change, they are ready to change.

Effective Ways to Manage Stress

Reduce your stressors

What is a stressor? It can be anything - the most typical are people, but that can also be things like jobs, buildings, circumstances. As mentioned, before we cannot get rid of all of them; sitting down and examining your stressors is helpful especially if you then act on this new knowledge. You may be surprised at how many you could choose to change. There are some suggestions below

• Limit contact with the people who cause you stress. It is irrelevant what these people think. You can still be in contact with them and when you are armed with this new knowledge, you can prepare accordingly.

• Say no. It's ok and you don't need to explain. A polite no is much better than not following through. A polite no is much better than not following through on the yes and most people will accept it - if not - see the point above.

• Avoid anything that upsets you. There are the typical issues that we all know can be provocative - Religion and Politics. With 24-hour news channels searching for more content it is easy to get stuck on the constant stream of war, violence, death and general doom and gloom. Getting stuck in a rut of needing the next update … it might be better if you don't watch, don't listen, don't read and don't engage.

• Many of us have a to-do list that we try and slog through on a day-to-day basis that just keeps growing. Be realistic choose 5 things from the list and make them your target for today. You never know you may be able to pick up the 6th or 7th. The achievement of completing these tasks helps motivate us.

• Block out ‘you’ time. It is ok to go to the loo between meetings / conference calls/Zoom sessions. Think about what is motivating your need to fill your time with stuff (that may be mainly for others). Are you seeking approval? Do you need to be wanted? Are you lonely? Add in some rest time. You can use this time however you wish. It may be to go for a run or ring a friend or have a cuppa. A bit of space to breathe.

Seek other perspectives on problems

When things and people and situations cannot be avoided search for a different way of perceiving it. When we do this, we are taking an active part in the problem and hence we feel a sense of control. This will lower your stress.

Also examine your expectations. Are they realistic?

There are many things we absolutely cannot change in life, but we do have the ability to change the way we react to them. Maybe:

• Problems provide us with the best opportunity to learn.

• Check your expectations.

• Perfection is not possible.

• Is it really that important? Will this matter in 5 years’ time? What will happen if you don’t?

• If something is beyond your direct influence, stressing about it will change nothing - other than possibly hurting you.

• Take ownership. You have created the stress. Own that.

Take action

·         We can often lower our stress just by taking action in order to do something, anything to impact the way a problem affects us. Sometimes it’s a significant action, and sometimes it’s just a tiny step, but the important thing is that we do something to change the situation.

• Tell people how you feel. If you are able to tell the person who is stressing you that they have had that impact. Then at least you both now know. Also tell trusted friends and colleagues that you are stressed. It will help you and them.

• It's good to talk! (Are you old enough the remember that reference? :-)) Talking about how you feel does help. You can seek a listening ear from Samaritans or other mental health professionals if you have exhausted your family and friends listening ears.

• Stand up for yourself. Think about how you would react if you were watching a friend in this situation.

• Do things differently. Maybe use new tools to help you be more efficient. Maybe employ some help or the simple act of doing something differently can give you fresh insight/perspective/ideas.

Stay healthy

• This is so important to our whole being. Mind and body will benefit.

• Move.

• Eat well. Healthy, nutritious food and drinks

• Sleep. Getting enough good quality sleep will help you deal with any stressors better.

Rest

• It is not selfish to rest and take time for you. In fact, it is the responsible thing to do - for you and your loved ones.

• Find activities that relax you. We are all different - some people find a run relaxing while others want to soak in a bath.

• Make time, you will be more efficient and refreshed after resting. Overall, you will get more done and be better.

• Spend time with friends and family (if you get on with them)

• Laugh. It's good for you, not only does it releases endorphins and lowers blood pressure; it helps you gain perspective and stop taking things so seriously.

The bottom line is that while tension can’t be eliminated, it can be managed. If we learn to incorporate some of these stress-management strategies into our lives, we can actually avoid some common stressors and learn to handle the rest in a calmer and healthier way